The never ending search for an underweight body.

I would like to start off by saying that I believe I am being fair enough when I point out that Instagram has taken Vogue’s place in terms of dictating what a person’s body should look like. Beyoncé’s words in her song “Pretty Hurts” saying that “Vogue says ‘Thinner is better’” are still a thing, even though Vogue might have lost its spot. Due to that, it goes without saying that the amount of plastic surgery done yearly in a post-Kardashians society is humongous. I reckon being no different from those people, but I have to choose my own, cheaper ways. Fancy my stretching it out a bit?

I have tried out some questionable methods in order to slim down and get rid of my awful, disgusting belly fat. Even though I have been pot-bellied all my life, I have always abhorred the way I look in the mirror as well. While taking part in some physical training in order to get my way into the Brazilian Navy, I would run and do some push-ups all weekdays (and even on Saturdays at times). In spite of doing so, I was not quite convinced that I was slimming down. In fact, I was stuck in terms of losing weight. Consequently, never would I end up doing such training without having taken some sibutramine pills prior. Those pills help obese people in their attempt to eliminate the fat they feel needs vanishing.

If I am to be bluntly honest, I had known the side effects of this kind of medicine prior to taking it back in the day. Nevertheless, as it is said in the text “A body to die for”, whenever you weigh the risks associated with such a dangerous practice and the feeling of joy you might get after realizing the number of pounds you will have lost by the end of the process, you are most likely to do that without much thinking it over.

Ought I to say I regret having done it so as to achieve an “ideal”, thinner body? Partially. Only through erring can one learn. After having put on the exact same weight I have lost in the early months of the process, I have come to the realization that it has not worked out the way I think it should have. I would always feel bloated while eating and could not put up with the side effects that came quite handy if I am to be rather sarcastic — an ever growing anxious feeling of never being good enough for anything and a disgusting double chin that always whispers to me “You’re awfully chubby again, honey!”.

To sum it all up, that is how far I would and did go in terms of pursuing my very image of an ideal body. I don’t think I could ever bring myself to doing it all over again and I highly recommend your not doing it.

Regarding the second question¹, I am tempted to believe there is no such thing as women being vainer than men for instance. I reckon it might have been that way in the past when people would associate a vain man caring about how he looks to being homosexual. Nevertheless, discussions on sexual orientation and gender have been so heavily disseminated that thoughts like those might still be stuck only in minds of conservative, perishing people.

Tria. May 21st, 2022.

Tria. May 21st, 2022.



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Tria is currently 26 years old. They are studying Chemical Engineering and have just joined their country’s Navy forces. 🇧🇷 & 🇺🇸